My Little Girl
by Two Hours' Traffic
Summary: When he was fifteen, Max made a promise to his baby sister. Six years on, the promise is growing harder to keep.


"Mom, this is so unfair! Everyone in my grade is going tonight. I can think of a thousand things I'd rather be doing. I don't know anyone else who has to look after their baby sisters on a Saturday night."

"I really don't care. Your father and I will be at a function at his office. You're looking after your sisters - and that's final."

"But Mom, this is total bull-"

"No swearing. And no buts. Thank you, Maxwell!"

The door slammed shut. Max sighed before turning to face Julia and Lucy, who were sitting at the base of the stairs. He smiled at the elder of the two.

"So, Luce, I guess it's just you and me."

"Hey! What about me?!" exclaimed Julia indignantly.

"Oh sorry, midget. Didn't see you there."

"Don't call me 'midget'!"

"I'm sorry, _Julia_. I didn't see you there."

"I'm not that short!"

"You're not that tall."

"I'm only six!"

"Fair enough."

Lucy stood up. "For your information, I'm twelve years old. I'm hardly a baby. And I'm gonna go finish my homework. Can I watch TV when I'm done?"

"I guess so," Max shrugged. He turned to Julia. "You need to be in bed in an hour. What are you going to do until then?"

"I want to draw. Will you draw with me?"

"Uh... sure."

Julia reached up to grab her big brother's hand before leading him into her room. She got out some paper, her colouring book and pencils, and sat down on the carpet. Max sighed, but sat next to her.

"You can colour, OK?"

"I guess."

Julia ripped out a page from the book, and handed him a picture of a butterfly and some flowers. Max resisted the urge to pull a face as he took it. They spent the next ten minutes in silence. Then,

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you really mean what you said to Mom earlier?"

"When was this?"

"You know, when you were yelling at her, right before she left."

"Remind me what I said."

"Can you really think of a thousand things you'd rather be doing than looking after us? Are we really that bad?"

His sister had tears in her eyes.

"Oh, God... No, Jules, of course not. I was just mad at Mom – she didn't ask me if I had any plans or anything for tonight. She just told me that I had to look after you. And I did have plans. I was going to go to a movie with some of my friends from school."

"I'm sorry we messed up your plans."

"Oh, it's not your fault, honey. Come here."

Max held out his arms, and Julia crawled into them. She laid her head on his shoulder, and they sat there quietly.

"Jules... I love you and Lucy more than anyone else in the world. You know that, right?"

Julia sniffed, then slowly shook her head. "No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"I didn't know that."

"Oh, Julia... you're really special to me, OK? Just trust me."

"I trust you, Max."

He kissed the top of her head. "Now dry your eyes. Can I see your drawing?"

She handed it to him. It looked a bit like a bunch of scribbles to him. Trying to be politically correct, he asked her to explain it to him.

She looked at him as though he was touched in the head. "It's a picture of us. See? There's Lucy, and there's you, and there's me." In the drawing, Julia was a good inch taller than Max. She grinned at him. "It's in the future. I'll be taller than you one day."

"In your dreams."

"Mom said that I'm taller than you were when you were my age."

"That was a long time ago. Mom's memory isn't very good."

She stuck out her tongue at him, and he stuck his out in return.

"It's a beautiful picture, Jules. I've just got one thing to say. You forgot to sign it. One day, you're going to be rich and famous, and people are going to want to buy your pictures for hundreds of dollars. But you've got to put your name in the corner. And, on the back, write the title of it."

"OK." _Julia_ went in the corner, and on the back, she wrote (not without help from Max), 'The Carrigans – Lucy, Max and me'.

"That's perfect. I'm sure Mom and Dad will want to see it. Do you want to stick it on your pinboard?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"You want to go and see what Lucy's watching on TV?"

"OK. Will you carry me?"

"I thought you were tall. You're going to break my back."

She smiled and held out her arms, and he swung her up onto his hip. They headed down to the living room, where they spent the next twenty minutes watching Bewitched. By the end of the episode, Julia was starting to droop.

Max leaned over to Lucy. "I'm going to go and get her into bed," he whispered. "If she's being a pain, I'll need your help."

But no such help was needed.

Fifteen minutes later, having read The Cat In The Hat, Julia was going to sleep and Max was back in the living room.

"What's on?" he asked Lucy.

"Ocean's 11 and South Pacific."

"What do you want to watch?"

"Either works. Ocean's 11 sounds pretty awesome though. That OK with you?"

"Whatever."

They turned the movie on, and sat watching it. After about half an hour, Lucy turned to Max.

"Did you hear something?"

"Nup."

"I'm sure I heard something. Maybe it was Jules. Can you go check on her?"

"Can you? I got her into bed."

Lucy sighed, but headed upstairs. She was back a minute later.

"She wants you."

Max went up to his sister's room. "What is it, Jules?"

"Max... Max, I-"

"What?"

"I heard noises coming from my closet."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"There's nothing in your closet."

"There's something in there. I heard it."

He strode across the room and flung open the doors.

"Julia, there is absolutely nothing in your closet. I promise. Now, will you please go back to sleep?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

She sniffed. "OK."

"Sleep well, Jules. I love you."

"I love you too."

Two hours later, Max and Lucy both went to bed. Early in the morning, so early it was practically the night, Max thought he heard crying coming from Julia's room. But when he listened closer, he couldn't make it out. _I'm becoming paranoid_. He rolled over, trying to get back to sleep. Half-conscious, he heard a small voice screaming, "Max... Max!"

Max bolted into Julia's room. She was sitting up in bed with tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Julia, sweetheart, what's wrong?!"

"I had a bad dream."

"Oh, Jules, it was just a dream. It wasn't true."

"It _was_ true."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Julia's voice was thick with tears. "You had to go a long way away. I don't know where... it was really muddy and horrible. There were loud noises, all this banging, and people were throwing rocks at you and shooting at you, like in that show Dad was watching yesterday. And then they hurt you a lot, and I thought you were dead. And -"

"Julia, it's OK, honey. It was just a dream."

"But it was so _real_..." She trailed off into a fresh burst of sobbing.

"It wasn't real. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. Nothing's going to stop me being there for you. Do you understand me?"

"Max, I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know, Jules. I know." Max pulled his sister into a hug. She collapsed against his side, and he sat with her until she fell asleep.

---

_Six years later_

The summer sunlight flooding the apartment lit a scene of mild chaos. Several people sat around the kitchen table talking, guitar music was coming from somewhere, Jude was doodling and the phone was ringing off the hook.

"Hello? ... Lucy! It's for you."

"Thanks, Sadie."

Lucy wandered over from the couch where she'd been sitting.

"Hello? ... Hi Dad. How are you? ... Yeah, I'm good ... Sorry, _yes_, I'm good ... No, Dad, it's not Max's fault that I speak like I do. I speak like this because I choose to ... I know you didn't ring to have an argument ... Yes, I promise I'm fine ... The trip was easy ... I'm here, I'm safe, I've settled in. It's all good ... Yep, he's around. I'll see if he has anything to tell you."

Lucy put the phone down and sprinted around the apartment, looking for her brother. She found him sitting about five meters from where she'd started, staring out the window.

"Max, Dad's on the phone. Do you want to talk to him?"

Max looked at Lucy with disdain. "Why the hell would I want to talk to Dad?"

"I'm pretty sure he can hear you," she hissed at him.

"No, I do not want to talk to Dad. Thanks."

Lucy stuck her tongue out at him, then grabbed the phone again.

"He's a little busy right now ... Yeah, maybe next time. Can you put Julia on? ... Cool, thanks ... Hi Julia! How are you? ... It's all good here ... Tell Mom I arrived fine ... Tell her there's nothing to worry about ... Of course Max is OK. Why wouldn't he be OK? ... He went yesterday. It's all official now ... Oh Jules, not again, honey. Just trust him – nothing's going to happen ... Of course I'll put him on. I love you."

Max looked up at her. "Does she want me?"

Lucy nodded.

He got up and grabbed the phone. "Jules, baby, how are you? ... How's it all going? ... Should I ask about school? ... That bad? I'm sure it's not that bad ... Oh well, you _are_ a Carrigan."

As he listened to his sister, his forehead creased. "Julia, please trust me ... I _know_ I'm in the army now. But nothing's going to happen ... Of course I know what happened to Daniel. But I'm not Daniel, am I? ... Jules, tens of thousands of soldiers go to war and come back without a scratch. Nothing is going to happen to me ... Jules, I really don't want to be told how many thousands have been killed. Just trust me that I'll be fine ... Yes, I promise ... I really don't want to have this conversation right now ... I love you too. Will I put you back onto Lucy? ... OK, I love you, sweetheart. Talk to you soon." He hung up the phone.

"Fuck," he announced to no-one in particular.

"That bad?" Jude looked over at him worriedly.

"Damn right, that bad. Julia's spinning out because I'm in the army. What the fuck am I supposed to say? 'Yep, I'll be fine. I realise thousands of US soldiers are dying over there every week, but I've got the luck of the Irish.' It's not like she doesn't know it's happening. Ever since Daniel died..."

"What do you want me to say?"

"There's nothing to say. Shit, Jude... Does she not realise that I'm scared too?"

"Of course not. You're her invincible big brother. Faster than a speeding bullet, braver than a pack of wolves, all that jazz."

Max snorted. Then he grew sober. "D'you know, once when she was really little, she had a nightmare that I was going to be killed in a war. And I promised her that I wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"I've found that you should never promise anything that you can't keep."

"Too late."

They sat in silence for a moment.

Max sighed. "This is just bullshit, man."

"True."

"You know how they say that the army screws you up for life?"

Jude nodded.

"I think it's down to all the stress before you go."

Lucy, who had been eavesdropping for the last few interchanges, kissed Max on the head. "Let's hope that's all that happens to you."

Max threw his head into his hands and groaned. "My God, there's two of them."

Noting that the conversation was over, Jude began to sing along softly to the song that JoJo was playing.

_Don't you know it's gonna be alright... you know it's gonna be alright..._


End file.
